Funny Conversations

During my travels I’ve had some funny conversations. Sometimes because of creative touts, sometimes because of the language barrier and at other times because I’ve been messing around. Here’s a small selection of funny conversations.

On the streets in Tanzania:

Local: Are you Canadian?
Me: No.
Local: Where are you from?
Me: Denmark.
Local: Ahh, Dutch.

Local: Where are you from?
Me: Outer space.
Local: Oh? Italy?

Local: I am an artist…
Me: Do you want to buy my sandals? I’m looking to sell them, I will give you a good price.
Local: How much?
Me: Only 60.000 shillings. (That’s $37, 20 times the price I bought them for – which was overpriced already.)
Local: (Looking at them, nodding.) They look good, yes, maybe. I will find you tomorrow. (Then he took off.)

Local: You look different than last time I saw you.
Me: Really, how so?
Local: Your hair looks more grey and your beard is longer.
Me: That is usually how it goes when you don’t shave and cut your hair all the time.
Local: You should, it looks better.
Me: I just had my hair cut a week ago, I can’t cut it and shave all the time.
Local: But you look old.

Local: Hello, do you remember me?
Me: No.
Local: You don’t remember me from 2 days ago? You said you would come to my shop.
Me: I wasn’t here 2 days ago.

On the streets in Cape Town:

Although not a conversation, I saw this woman walking around in Cape Town with a sign. It said:
“Husband abducted by aliens. In dire need of 10 rand for karate lessons.”

(10 rand equals 1 dollar. I gave her 20 rand, so she could kick some alien ass.)

Street seller in Kathmandu:

Seller: Bracelet?
Me: No, thanks.
Seller: Chess?

Restaurant in Egypt:

Me: Hi, do you have a table near a power outlet?
Waiter: Yes, I am ready now.

Shop owner in Cairo:

Shop owner: How can I get your money? No matter what you want, I have it! Come and take a look.
Me: I don’t need anything, but thanks.
Shop owner in a desperate but jesting voice: What do I need to do, to get your money? I will do anything!

Taxi driver in India:

(It was 10:15 am, at the time.)
Me: How far is it to the waterfall?
Driver: 60 km.
Me: So, that will take around 1 hour?
Driver: Haha, no. 2,5 hours.
Me: Oh, really?
Driver: At 11 o’ clock.

Taxi driver in Kathmandu:

Driver: Do you have a wife? Girlfriend?
Me: No, I am single and free.
Driver: Really? You look like the player.

Taxi driver in India:

Me: Is it possible to eat anywhere near the temple?
Driver: Yes.
Me: So, we can get some lunch nearby the temple?
Driver: No.
Me: Hmm…then we are going to eat some lunch at the temple, okay? Is that possible?
Driver: Possible.
Me: Excellent.

Film maker in India driving like a maniac:

Me: What are the speed limit in India?
Film maker/driver: Speed limit? I don’t know.

Got some funny conversations to share?

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